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There are two Voodoo Doughnuts: Voodoo Doughnut, the place that sells actual doughnuts, feels like it was pulled out of the LSD-fueled dream of a fat, Portlnad hippie named Scrumptious.

It's great. I'm glad it's here. It always feels a little bit like I'm walking into San Francisco when I go there—more so now, after the renovation of the downtown space, but even back in the old hole-in-the-wall days.

Now, Voodoo Doughnut Penokee KS wife swapping "scene"?

The Voodoo Doughnut with a line full of Portland free fuck girls holding shoes and civil engineers on terrible dates and people who are probably Bon Iver and high-school kids all lit up Portland free fuck being awake and probably Japanese tourists and somebody's mom—and they're all standing together in a Portland free fuck that has to zig around some dude on heroin?

That's fucking Portland. Yeah, dude. When the inevitable Voodoo backlash comes, fuco let those hipper-than-fuck hip fucks eat cake.

Watch Portland Free Fuck porn videos for free, here on Discover the growing collection of high quality Most Relevant XXX movies and clips. Actually, don't judge anyone from Beaverton, why the fuck do you care? free" kind of person—but anytime I talk to someone about Portland. PORTLAND, OREGON Subscribe to our Newsletter and receive a free copy of the Fuckup Book. In one monthly update from Fuckup Nights. Name: Country.

You eat the fritter. What are you, an idiot? I'm sorry.

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Of course I had fun. Fun is what Portland strip clubs are all about. Many people like to bring up how our strip clubs are awesome Portland free fuck you can get hammered while looking at boobs andand this is the important part, vaginas.

Oh, by the way, I'm a straight white male, so this is going to be from my privileged perspective—but please know in your hearts that I have Andrea Dworkin's Wikipedia page open while I write this. Getting Portland free fuck near vaginas is okay, I guess. It's a little weird that it's illegal fre have alcohol and vaginas together Porrtland other parts of the country Portland free fuck booze make the penis less functional, reducing the risk of whatever state governments are afraid might happen?

Am I asking too many Portland free fuck Why would you be so hurtful? Booze and vagina are not why Portland strip clubs are fun.

Portland strip clubs being fun are why Portland strip clubs are fun. They're just fucking fun! Protland

Strip clubs aren't usually that fun, they're usually creepy and uncomfortable—most strip clubs Portlland like a Hooters, but with boobs instead of chicken wings. They're full of bad music and people pretending to be interested in other people as people. On the trip I took to Sassy's on the occasion of writing this article, I watched a stripper spend significant amounts Portland free fuck her time onstage giving the devil horns to a gaggle of hella burley metal dudes Portland free fuck cheered like proud parents.

I had way more fun seeing that than I had looking at a vagina with a beer in my hand. One girl hid onstage and popped out and scared me while I was deep in conversation with some other super drunk person—oh, you're going to combine all the fun of a Jantzen Beach Portland free fuck house experience with the adult motif of gazing at your boobs, girl with a Frer Kahlo tattoo? Well, you're the best person in the world, and I'm going to learn sculpting Portland free fuck I can make a statue of you shaking hands with Jesus.

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The strip clubs Portland free fuck Portland combine our seedy history as a wretched hive of scum and villainy with the current trend of body art inspired by the works of Shel Silverstein. They're "Portlandy," and they're spectacular.

I bet there are a few of you who have read this far just so you can completely obliterate me with an internet comment informing me how misogynistic and exploitative I am for enjoying our Portland free fuck strip clubs, or for calling them "strippers," or because I said, "Hey fellas, get a'load of Portland free fuck broad! Well, I'm sorry lie.

The fact is, people associate our beautiful city with strip clubs. Sign Up.

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